I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Randomize
