she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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