He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
