Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Randomize
