I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
