My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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