obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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