i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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