Ambien. No doubt about it.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
