Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
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