So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
