Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
