Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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