I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Drake has all the answers
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
