it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
