1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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