According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
