I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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