I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
