It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
