I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
