i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize