Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
