hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
