Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I touched a dick in church today
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
