first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
