Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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