i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
