the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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