he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
