Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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