I got chris browned last night
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
