eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
