I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
