pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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