i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
