I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
