I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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