No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
