He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I had to cum in my sink.
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