This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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