Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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