my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
