my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
