I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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