look no pants
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
