He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
