let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
