Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
you had me at cake vodka
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize