Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
