so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
