Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
