She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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