what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Randomize
