Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
