they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize