If i come over, it means nothing
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize