i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
