So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
