the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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