East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
