i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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