Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
